


Suffocation

by Midnight Wolf (Larkawolfgirl)



Series: Works I am Particularly Proud of [25]
Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Breathplay, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Developing Relationship, Emotional Constipation, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sex, Memory Loss, Murder, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 03:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11661084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Midnight%20Wolf
Summary: They say strangling is the most intimate way to kill someone.





	Suffocation

The first time was almost easy. They barely knew each other. It was just another command, one more comrade struck down by her hand. 2B had no pride in her work, but she had no remorse for it either. Emotions were forbidden and she was simply performing the duty she was designed for. However, with him, it was somehow different. There was a uniqueness to this 9S shown through his childish appearance and expressiveness. Still, when the order came, she slit his throat without a moment’s hesitation. He faced her, inquisitive eyes wide enough to be visible behind his visor, mouth agape in silent question. Red beaded from the gnash, staining against the stark black of his tailcoat. His head lolled down in a mockery of a nod before his body slumped along with it. 2B made no move to catch him and he landed in an ugly heap. Emotions aside, there was an unpleasantness to the sight that stuck with her. If she had not known better, she might have taken him for a mangled doll.

The next time was harder. This was the first time she had been forced to execute a repeat target, and it put her on edge. What was it about this model that made him so different? So disregarding of protocol? The first time she had spoken little more than a greeting his way, but this time, she breached the distance between them in an attempt to learn. He was…kind. In a way she never could be. Everything seemed beautiful and mysterious to him, and she could not help her tiny smile at his exuberant excitement at every turn. When the order came, she realized fondness had settled in her chest unnoticed. Even so, she took action immediately as was expected. However, this time she made sure to stab him straight through the chest from behind. He never knew what hit him, eyes still smiling.

She only hoped there had been little pain.

Once more, she was assigned to him. A sadness lingered in her chest throughout their time together as she awaited the inevitable. He was much the same, excited like a child and appearing just as innocent. She already lamented their time inevitably cutting short. She was coming to understand him better now. Exploring the unknown was a thrill to him, a puzzle he could piece together through bits of information. Each time a revelation came to him his entire face would break out in sheer joy. But his smiles toward her were always that much softer and his voice at times would dull to a quiet murmur that made something inside her fizzle.

When the order came again, she actually hesitated. She needed a moment to give her silent farewell, and when she did strike, she found herself clenching her eyes closed so as not to have to watch the life drain from him. Her mind stalled for a moment before she felt the wetness on her cheek.

Again, and again, this pattern repeated until her gut was twisted by the intuitive knowledge that this routine would undoubtedly continue without end. She would be forced to repeat this give and take until the commander deemed one of them no longer worth the effort. With this knowledge came the realization that it was killing her from the inside out.

Feelings were forbidden, but no one could truly prevent them. They were deluded, pushed to the brink of her perception, yet they burned with their own intensity unbidden, and once she acknowledged them, they nearly consumed her with their intensity.

2B loved 9S.

She loved the shine of his curiosity and his determination. She loved the way he always prioritized her needs. She loved that smile he shared with her alone and that quiet, tender tone so unlike anyone else’s.

For the first time in her life, she longed for something and felt the sting of knowing it was something she would never have. She longed for ample time to spend with him, enough to memorize the structure of his make. She wanted the promise of a future together as something more than two randomly brought together partners. But above all, she longed to be remembered.

Hearing him call her ma’am felt like a knife rooting itself into her chest. Fondness was inherently there, but it was without any recollection. Yet again, she was forced to reintroduce herself while fighting back the impulse to pull him into an embrace. No wonder YoRHa forbade emotions; she felt like she was drowning on nothing but air.

“No need to be so formal,” 2B choked out. “2B’s fine.” He eyed her not looking entirely comfortable with such quick familiarity. Just when he opened his mouth to object, she beat him to it. “Your name’s 9S, right? How about I call you Nines? Would that make it easier?”

His mouth hung open, dumbstruck. Then he swallowed before a small smile formed. “We scanners usually work alone. I’ve never been close enough for anyone to give me a nickname before.” He nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, thanks, M—2B.”

He looked genuinely touched by her friendliness, and her heart fluttered pleasantly in her chest. An uncommon smile touched her own lips. “No problem, Nines.”

“My friends call me Nines,” he said the next time which took 2B aback. Sure, she had noticed that each time they initiated this dance fondness came easy, but she always compared this to muscle memory. Never once did she hope anything more could linger on in his memory.

 _Nines._ Her own special name.

She touched her chest where heat was suddenly overflowing. “Nines, then.” 2B smiled.

It was not until his next incarnation that he kissed her. 2B was surprised but quick to respond. Her fingers curled at his coat sleeves as emotions surged through her. Joy, desire, grief. This would never last, it was only a momentary elation.

“2B?” he asked with worry.

“Hmm?” she hummed in question. She wiped at her eyes just noticing her tears. “I’m fine,” she assured.

2B would have liked to have taken things slow, to build their bond through sweet kisses and lingering touches, but there was no time. The cycle would soon rewind, and she would be forced once again to the start.

Despite protocol and the objections 9S raised, 2B tugged him into her private chambers one night. Neither had of them any experience, and the act was bumpy, to say the least. It could not have mattered any less to 2B who tucked 9S’s head onto her chest afterward, just threading her fingers through his short silver hair. If only she could always use her hands to keep him safe like this.

She had made a fatal error. She had been laughably foolish. The order came—she always knew it would—and this time her hand faltered. Her sword clattered to the ground as 9S rebounded on her. He pinned her to the ground, his own sword cold against her neck.

His eyes were nearly feral in their wildness. “Why?” he spat. “I loved you!”

A sob burst from her. She tried to reach up to stroke at his cheek but his sword bit into her neck in warning. “I’m so sorry.” She felt so weak, so helpless. A part of her wished he would just finish her off so that these feelings would disappear. Instead, he tossed the weapon aside.

His body deflated. “Fine. Just get it over with.”

2B grabbed her discarded weapon in a shaky grasp. With one hand, she positioned the blade at his heart as the other found the space between his ear and cheek. She leaned up and placed a kiss to his forehead as the blade sunk home. The blade might as well have struck her own heart, the loss was that painful.

She hugged him to her long after the life had drained from him.

“My friends call me Nines.”

 _No, I called you Nines._ “We are not friends,” she said with a bitter edge. She was an executioner and he was the executed. Nothing more.

But of course, he did not know this, and his affection was not so easily cut off. He chipped away at her icy wall until it came shattering down. She clutched onto him as if for life itself and kissed at his lips as if it was means for oxygen. Desperation spurred her on until they were writhing together on her narrow bunk. _I love you. I love you._ The words spilled from her mouth.

9S deserved better than the same fate as her enemies. Somewhere long ago, she had heard that strangling was the most intimate way to kill someone.

This time she waited until nightfall when they laying side by side under a plethora of stars to sneak her fingers over his exposed throat. His eyes snapped open with terror at her first squeeze. This time she refused to cry. Instead, she squeezed at him with all the love she could muster even as his body jolted in protest.

It became a little easier after that. Her stomach no longer twisted so violently and his trust in her no longer left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. She let him in willing time and time again. He had so little; who was she to deny him her limited affection?

But then, one day her stomach lurched violently when asking her to try out some breath play. Her first impulse was to puke. But then she saw how vulnerable and embarrassed he looked. He thought she was rejecting him, so she swallowed back her bile and agreed.

Her fingers merely rested on his skin, yet they burned at the contact.  His eyes implored her for more, so she gave in, curling her fingers inward. He felt so brittle beneath her grasp. She could end this far too easily. Images of his eyes bulging before going lifeless flashed behind her open eyes. Phantom chills crept along his neck and for a moment she missed the thrum of his heartbeat. 9S’s lewd expression finally registered, and 2B let go in a flash. This was all her fault.

Without a word, she fled.

That was the last time she gave into weakness. Emotions only brought pain. She was nothing but a tool for YoRHa. There was no need for such things as longing, affection, or regret.

Now the killings just left a growing emptiness inside her. The one thing that never left her, however, was the hope that he felt little pain as her fingers tightened over his Adam’s apple. And Again.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that breathplay should go against 9S's programming, but I had the sudden thought of how messed up it would be for 9S to find pleasure in 2B strangling him and couldn't let it go.


End file.
